Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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