and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
