If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
you had me at cake vodka
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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