whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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