What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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