i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
3 2 1 whiskey
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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