May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
