what day is it and did you see me today?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
