Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
