What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
