you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
