I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
