Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
