I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
