So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
