You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
