I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
