Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Randomize
