i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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