I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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