I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My cat gives me a boner
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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