The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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