A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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