I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
