my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
