Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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