Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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