I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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