Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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