Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
