I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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