"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
