I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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