yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
