i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
