She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
