So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
