I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
