You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
