I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
