Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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