Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
