I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
