I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
