But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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