Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
