The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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