just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
