Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
