When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
