I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Randomize
